The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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