I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
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Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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