do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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