i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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