nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
