I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
