idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
