You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
