why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
