Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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