I'm jealous of your bromance
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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