She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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