new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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