he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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