wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
