Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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