Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
