Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize