I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My ass is underappreciated
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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