There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
