lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
