dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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