her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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