My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
