i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
