we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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