Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked

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(719): so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked http://tfl.nu/uvvy

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

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(910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch. http://tfl.nu/syjm

Replies (57) Good night (17384) Bad night (1405)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.

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(860): I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared. http://tfl.nu/7yxr

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(949): View more from California

I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.

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(949): I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/xcpk

Replies (46) Good night (1312) Bad night (9860)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.

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(317): Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube. http://tfl.nu/etlx

Replies (16) Good night (5395) Bad night (1455)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.

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(609): Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there. http://tfl.nu/x13b

Replies (5) Good night (848) Bad night (2183)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same

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(810): I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same http://tfl.nu/4oc8

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(903): View more from Texas

EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT

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(903): EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT http://tfl.nu/usnf

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

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(413): And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center http://tfl.nu/rfee

Replies (9) Good night (2701) Bad night (1021)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.

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(412): I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised. http://tfl.nu/nqg7

Replies (9) Good night (2074) Bad night (1126)
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(802): View more from Vermont

He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?

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(802): He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been? http://tfl.nu/bs5q

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(765): View more from Indiana

So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever

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(765): So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever http://tfl.nu/rkn4

Replies (3) Good night (1275) Bad night (529)
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(518): View more from New York

Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.

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(518): Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk. http://tfl.nu/lrcf

Replies (4) Good night (1240) Bad night (672)
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(806): View more from Texas

I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.

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(806): I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship. http://tfl.nu/hvwx

Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (457)
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(757): View more from Virginia

ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."

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(757): ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY." http://tfl.nu/eo1b

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