Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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(925): View more from California

Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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(404): View more from Georgia

This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend

(917): View more from New York City

Yeah but those French chicks did get naked

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

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(708): View more from Illinois

i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The paramedics were not my fault this time.

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(248): View more from Michigan

On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful

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