Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila