Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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(248): I cant believe we actually had a nipple party! http://tfl.nu/pec6

Replies (5) Good night (2105) Bad night (523)
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(315): View more from New York

im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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(315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj

Replies (41) Good night (3220) Bad night (1131)
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(310): View more from California

four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

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(310): four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again. http://tfl.nu/xdhu

Replies (21) Good night (920) Bad night (4510)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.

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(856): So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron. http://tfl.nu/ru5k

Replies (18) Good night (1609) Bad night (5428)
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(714): View more from California

i perioded on his leg

(714): View more from California

on. his. leg.

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(714): i perioded on his leg (714): on. his. leg. http://tfl.nu/sr0m

Replies (49) Good night (1157) Bad night (10692)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

He just wants an even tan

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(860): I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked. (1-860): He just wants an even tan http://tfl.nu/akk9

Replies (18) Good night (4234) Bad night (1187)
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(406): View more from Montana

All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off

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(406): All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off http://tfl.nu/72k1

Replies (14) Good night (2248) Bad night (947)
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(619): View more from California

Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

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(619): Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands http://tfl.nu/hu3j

Replies (11) Good night (457) Bad night (1059)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

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(228): She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics. http://tfl.nu/kvtj

Replies (8) Good night (786) Bad night (1261)
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(574): View more from Indiana

IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.

(971): View more from Oregon

YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.

(574): View more from Indiana

NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

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(574): IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH. (971): YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH. (574): NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. http://tfl.nu/j0cd

Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (408)
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(727): View more from Florida

He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.

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(727): He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again. http://tfl.nu/phzx

Replies (8) Good night (1258) Bad night (270)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks

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(321): I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks http://tfl.nu/2gnj

Replies (4) Good night (893) Bad night (343)
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(561): View more from Florida

Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit

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(561): Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit http://tfl.nu/ek73

Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (279)
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(360): View more from Washington

That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.

(206): View more from Washington

You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.

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(360): That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit. (206): You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety. http://tfl.nu/nmz2

Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (314)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.

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(502): So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted. http://tfl.nu/vsby

Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (346)

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