North Korea, Best Korea!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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