You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
one might say we're banned from that church
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
