We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest