the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?