just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize