Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
