Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize