in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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