capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
