I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
