Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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