she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
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It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
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after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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