Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
