Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT