i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration