guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.