Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
