is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
