R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have feelings that need drinking.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
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