I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
