I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
