How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
