Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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