Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
