she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
