I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
