if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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