she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
