i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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