am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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