Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize