I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
