I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
