Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize