no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
