Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
