Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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