guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
