I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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