is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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