Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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