I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
