She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
