Everything about him screamed your future.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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