I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
