At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.