Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?

(253): View more from Washington

Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them? (253): Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either. http://tfl.nu/fhrp

Replies (21) Good night (1008) Bad night (465)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names. http://tfl.nu/nfcq

Replies (26) Good night (912) Bad night (5066) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick. http://tfl.nu/k5e1

Replies (120) Good night (603) Bad night (19626) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave http://tfl.nu/bg5d

Replies (11) Good night (5204) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x

Replies (33) Good night (7490) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz

Replies (26) Good night (6544) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew. http://tfl.nu/ch0g

Replies (8) Good night (6957) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her? http://tfl.nu/qpjw

Replies (11) Good night (1025) Bad night (3405) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

(1-928): View more from Arizona

They dropped the charges?

(928): View more from Arizona

Yeppers. Come drink beers.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): I deem it safe for us to drink together again. (1-928): They dropped the charges? (928): Yeppers. Come drink beers. http://tfl.nu/va29

Replies (8) Good night (2770) Bad night (555)
Favorite
(517): View more from Michigan

this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(517): this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/l5cn

Replies (1) Good night (1135) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital http://tfl.nu/fnso

Replies (12) Good night (1084) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(858): View more from California

I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(858): I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back. http://tfl.nu/eq49

Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee. http://tfl.nu/pw4k

Replies (12) Good night (1785) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj

Replies (13) Good night (2775) Bad night (364)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows. http://tfl.nu/xsuo

Replies (7) Good night (2276) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: