Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube