Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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