it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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