I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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