Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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